Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Sometimes I don't understand what's going on with my own person.
I came home from work shortly after nine, fixed myself "dinner" (the last leftover biscuit from whatever everyone else had, with some strawberry preserves). I came to my room, sat at the computer, and ate. And I stayed on the computer until almost 11 o'clock. I felt fine. No problems whatsoever. No Lifesavers, no gum, no ice chewing. I even found myself thinking about food, and how nice it would be to have a snack! Wow. What a feeling of normalcy. I didn't have one, of course. I was too busy being on the computer. And we didn't have what I wanted (some cheddar cheese and Barbecue Baked Lay's potato chips) so it didn't matter.
Then I realize it's getting late, and I'd better be getting ready for bed. For some reason my stomach starts to act a little funny. Or maybe it's not my stomach, maybe it's in my head. I have a hard time differentiating sometimes. It's getting closer and closer to time for Brandon to get off work (he got off at 11:30) and by the time the phone rings I'm a little worked up. I think it's because my throat feels weird. It's reminding me of how I felt earlier today, and how unpleasant that was (even though it only lasted like, ten minutes!) So I can't talk when Brandon calls, I tell him to call me back in a little while. I sit on my bed (can't lie down- reflux. Ugh.) with a glass of ice chips, muttering my Bible verses under my breath while I try to reach for my little book of verses on the night stand. Sometimes when I don't feel well I don't like to move very much. Like when I used to hold my breath to walk down the hall when I was little and I felt bad? I think for some reason not breathing while doing something made it seem like I wasn't doing that thing. I don't know. It was weird. But I digress.
I just got done having a conversation with God about how good He has been to me lately, making me feel a little better every day. I told Him how much I appreciated the fact that most of the issues I have had over the past few days have only lasted a few minutes, including the problems I had earlier when we were leaving the movie theater. I reminded myself that I felt the exact same way then as I do now, and nothing came of it. There's nothing to be afraid of. So your stomach's a little upset. It'll calm down. It always does. I thanked God for showing me the right verses to copy down in my little notebook, and told Him I was trying really hard to "remember His benefits", as we learned in our Bible study last week. And the next thing I knew, the scariest stuff had past. Sure, I still have reflux, and my stomach still feels weird, but I don't feel so...lost. I think lost is a good word to describe how I feel when I am having anxiety issues, because I feel very confused and also I don't know where I'm going (figuratively speaking- I don't know what's going to happen next).
The whole point of this post is to say "I don't know where that came from but I didn't like it and I'm trying to keep it from coming back again, therefore here I sit. At the computer desk. Typing."
I'm still praying, because I still feel weird and I don't want those ugly anxious feelings to resurface. I'm still praying because I am so thankful for all my Deliverer has done for me lately. And I'm still praying because I feel the need to remind Him to please keep up the good work.
Now I really should try to go to sleep. Well...I'm still waiting for Brandon to call, actually. So I will rearrange my pillows to minimize the acid reflux discomfort and continue munching on my ice chips until the phone rings. Maybe by then my Benadryl will have kicked in (allergies!!!) and I can get some sleep.