Hyperbole is my middle name.

You know what, my life is just horribly unfair. That's it. And I'm tired of it.

The unfair part. Not, you know, life.

I wish that the things you type had some kind of accenting feature when you are practically stabbing the keys on the keyboard because you are so angry. Or, I am so angry. You know what I meant.

So remember how I said I called Brandon? And how I was worried and just wanted to talk to him? Well guess what. He apparently called like two minutes after I called him. Only AT&T is the dumbest company in the world and poisons customers' phones so as soon as the warranty is up they stop receiving calls and can't hardly ever get a signal if they need one and also their voice mails arrive A WEEK LATE. The phone didn't ring. I waited and waited and the phone didn't ring.
I get off the computer about 25 minutes after calling Brandon, and go to set the alarm on my phone- because I am expecting to be very tired in the morning and probably won't hear my alarm clock by itself. And I see it: ONE MISSED CALL.

My life is unfair.

I called back and he's already turned his phone off. So maybe I possibly started talking to my phone (and AT&T) in a loud and angry manner. And possibly also at this point I was crying. OK, sobbing. And I guess someone heard me because mom called me to ask what was wrong. OK, AT&T, put THAT call through but not the one I really wanted (no offense, mom.) I know she thinks I'm being stupid but I don't care. I freaking hate AT&T and apparently they work better than pretty much any other provider. Which is pretty sad, if you ask me, because THEY ARE HORRIBLE . And some day, when some other, better cell phone service company comes along, and I switch to them, I will sit down and write AT&T the angriest angry letter they have ever received, full of angry, multi-syllable words that they will have to have a dictionary to understand. A pox on their houses. I hate them all.

So now we have pretty much guaranteed that it will be HOURS until I can go to sleep, because now I am crying and very upset and not so tired anymore. Also my stomach hurts now. My life is very unfair.

I know I'm being dumb but I don't care. I have been this way for years, and while I haven't always had someone I wanted to call just in case I kicked the bucket in the middle of the night (I'm charmingly paranoid about these things) I do now and I'm mad because I can't get a hold of him. I'm mad because the phone didn't even beep to tell me I'd missed a call. It was like it was keeping that information from me on purpose, and just to spite me, when I opened the phone and went under the menu thing to set the alarm, it just happened to remember that someone had called for me a long time ago, and wouldn't I like to call them back now that they won't answer? Curse you, little pink phone. I hate you sometimes. Like now.

I don't even have a voicemail to listen to. Or maybe I do, I just won't get it until the middle of next week.

I'm mad. And I'm pouting and I'm starting to ramble.

Do me a favor. If I die in my sleep tonight, from a heart attack or a ruptured spleen or Ebola or whatever, somebody please, please find out where the CEO of AT&T lives and throw eggs at his house. And say something mean about them in my obituary, too.


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And just so you know, I wrote six HUGE paragraphs about why going to the doctor is not only unnecessary but also has generally been a waste of my time during my entire life. But I cut them out. Maybe I'll post them another time. Anyway, I'm going to go get in bed and read since, as I said, it will be a long time before I will be able to sleep. At least I've stopped crying. Sort of.