Just some thoughts. Concerns? Maybe.

Suppose you know this girl who is learning to leave things up to God's will rather than her own (she is very willful, so this has been difficult). Suppose that, despite the fact that she's been fairly concerned about life and money and such lately, she decided a few weeks ago to start living by the 10-10-80 financial plan. You know, tithe ten percent, save ten percent, live off of 80. And she has never really "tithed" before, maybe just a few dollars in the offering plate (or bag) here and there. This is going to be a big (albeit responsible and grown-upish) change, remember, she is leaving it up to God.

So after tithing a few times, and taking a look at what she is saving, this girl realizes that if she continues this pattern she will have enough money to pretty much pay for her wedding a year and a half from now. She gets a "cost of living raise" (definition: three extra dollars per paycheck. Every little bit counts.) She gets a response regarding a scholarship that she is usually rejected for outright, and learns some exciting information about some possible tuition reimbursement from her job. And she is very thankful for all these things.

But one evening, she's sitting at home thinking about herself in the third person, and she realizes that she didn't tithe this paycheck. And she probably spent the portion of her paycheck that should have gone to church in that plate (or that bag).

Is she crazy for wondering, in some dark, tiny corner of her mind, if God is going to be thoroughly disappointed in her lack of commitment to this new concept of tithing, and, say, cause her car to break down? Because she definitely couldn't afford to deal with that.

I am thankful that I serve a loving, forgiving, and selectively forgetful God. And also that August is a three-paycheck month. ^_~

Service day

Today we went on a service trip with our Bible study class. We went to the Salvation Army Boys and Girls Club and did manicures and pedicures. Nothing really professional...just hanging out with these girls and painting their fingernails exciting colors. Our table (me, mom, Helen, and Kelli) only had one little girl at first so she seemed really overwhelmed. Especially since she was six and mom and Helen kept taking pictures of her. But she warmed up and ended up having a lot of fun. Kelli and I did our nails because only one other girl came up to each of us for the few hours we were there. Actually, I ended up doing another girl's nails right before we left (alternating pink and green, her choice). I hope that we had a positive influence on these young ladies today. I think that they enjoyed themselves. They even got to keep the nail polishes and stuff. I wouldn't mind going back sometime to do the same thing!

And now I am just hanging around the house, eating pancakes for a very early dinner, waiting to go to work (blech). And work tomorrow. And the day after that. I am looking forward to the end of this week. It's the end of summer reading at the library!
Oh, since I talk about it so much, here's a link to some of the pictures of our Summer Readers. I was very excited to see that one of the little girls today was wearing a SuperReader backpack from last year- and I had on my SuperReader shirt. It was cool. Yeah.

A peek.

While I am waiting for Brandon to call me back, I took some pictures of my room. Since my room is very important to me, as it is where I spend all my time when I'm not in the car or somewhere else, I decided I could share some of those pictures with you. So you can see into my life a little. But not too much. ^_^

My herd of walruses (walri?)

Fernald and his walrus. He looks bigger than he actually is. And also kinda blurry.

My bedroom door. Featuring Barry Manilow, Rufus Wainwright, and a bunch of random stuff. The back of it is covered with David Bowie pictures but there's a bathrobe in the way and also I forgot to take a picture.

My dog Polo and his lobster costume.

Oh, the shame...I embarrass him so.

I hope you've had a lovely weekend. Mine's been unproductive, as usual (obviously).

Awww.....*sniff*

This is pretty much the saddest/sweetest story ever.

A little boy named Reece was diagnosed with leukemia when he was four years old. Not long ago, at age 8, he was given only a few weeks to live. His parents wanted to help him fulfill as many of his wishes as possible. He "proposed" to his sweetheart at a laser tag party, and they got "married" on July 4th. Little Reece passed away the next day.

See? Very sweet. But tremendously sad. Read the rest of the story here.

Delicious.

I made fudge! I'm excited about it. While I'm waiting for it to set (and putting off cleaning...again...) I will share the recipe with you. It's super simple and amazingly delicious.

1 bag regular-sized marshmallows
2 tbsp. water
2/3 cup butter or margarine, cubed
1 tsp. vanilla
12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (this is about what I use...the original recipe called for almost three cups. That's way too much. Use your discretion)

Line the bottom of a square cake pan (8x8 or 9x9) with waxed paper. Let some hang over the sides for easy removal. In a large saucepan, melt the marshmallows, butter and water over medium heat. Stir it pretty often- don't let it boil! Add the chopped chocolate and vanilla and stir until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Stir in walnuts. Pour into the pan, cover with foil or plastic wrap, and refrigerate until set (it does fine in the freezer, too, if you want to eat it sooner.) To serve, remove fudge on waxed paper, cut into squares and eat it. Yum. Make sure that you didn't leave any bits of waxed paper on the bottom of the fudge, though. ^_^

Note: I in no way, shape or form came up with this on my own. I wrote it down from somewhere a while ago. I am not taking credit for it. I am not Cindy McCain. Ha. Haha.

I'm not really sure why there's a screwdriver by my computer.

Guess who's awake when she shouldn't be?

There really is no reason to post. I've been floating around the internet, watching videos on youtube...there was a nice one of Aslan but I couldn't put it on here ("imbedding disabed upon request").

I found some pictures of Jesus-slash-Desmond from the Gospel of John video, which I have decided I need to watch again. It was really good. We watched it in Mr. Mansfield's class many years ago (he was my Bible teacher once upon a time. And he's a cool guy with good taste in films. This is where we also watched "The Mission" and "Shadowlands").

Anyway. Here they are. Jesus loves you. And if Desmond were real, he might love you, too.

"Hey, when you get to Heaven, we can have dinner. I hope you like bread. Because we have a lot of it." -Jesus"I care about you so much I will sit on this stoop for days. Just like stoop kid. Only holier." -Jesus"I love you this much." -Jesus

Procrastinating. Avoiding cleaning off my desk. Etc.

Looks like it's going to be another unproductive day.

I didn't do ANYTHING yesterday. At all. I just didn't feel like leaving bed for any sort of extended period of time. I was just feeling a little depressed. I am much better today, as I predicted I would be. I just needed a day off from pretty much everything, that's all.

Despite feeling better, I still haven't done much. I didn't sleep in too late. All I've really done was clean my fish Fernald's bowl. I keep getting distracted by the computer. I get on facebook, or realize I haven't played Sims in an hour or so so I turn that on and move another one of Odd Thomas-sim's grown children into a house (he has twelve. It's taking some time.)

I am expected at Brandon's in four measly hours. It seems so soon, as it feels I just woke up not too long ago.

Anyway, I hope you are having both a more productive and more exciting day than I am. I will probably sit here listening to Phil Wickham for the next few hours, then stop somewhere and get myself some dinner. Yay.

Hurray for dresses

I went wedding dress shopping today!

Actually it was more like, let's go look at dresses because they are pretty and we should also see how much they cost.
I found one I like. In the whole store. But they didn't have it in anywhere near my size (everything they have is out on the salesfloor) so I couldn't even try it on for fun. It was so pretty! It was strapless and had some sparkly things on the bodice and the skirt, but not too many doodads, as I decided that I don't like an overabundance of doodads. They would greatly bother me. I don't want to feel crunchy.
Anyway. This dress was so pretty and the skirt and train were so huge and fluffy that it was the biggest dress bag on the rack (very princessy, makes me happy).
Sadly they don't list the designer on the tag, just a code number and the price ($498). So I can't look it up anywhere else. Probably. I will try, though.

The moral of the story is, it was fun and I look forward to shopping when it is closer to time. I don't think it'll take me a super long time to find a dress. My prom dress was the first one I pulled off the rack, and it was perfect. Kelli says I should just bleach that one and wear it. I don't think it will work.
Anyway, it was fun, and the subsequent trip to the dollar store was a bit boring. Not nearly as much fun as it normally is. And I made Kelli watch part of the first Lord of the Rings movie. I think she mildly enjoyed a few parts of it, which is good. We will have to finish it next week.
It is way late (almost two in the morning, I am going to be a zombie tomorrow) so I should make another attempt at sleeping. Good night!

Aww

Because I was in the mood to make a fiftieth post, and because I am in a Des-and-Penny kind of mood today, here are some videos for you.




*claps hands excitedly*

Oops!

In all the, ahem, excitement of last weekend's events, I forgot to announce that wedding plans have officially, officially begun. I finally got around to calling the church, and they sent me a packet of information and forms to fill out. When I send them back in they will make an appointment for us to meet with the marriage minister, then we are required to attend the 12-part series of classes they offer, and meet with a marriage mentor couple. I suppose that after that, we are free to get married. Except for the part about waiting till January 2, 2010, of course.

The forms and paperwork are a bit daunting. Because I go to a big church ("enormous" might be more appropriate), they obviously perform a lot of weddings, and thus have quite a system down. There are two times to choose from, each has a few hours before and after with it. They have very strict guidelines regarding photography (I still can't figure out if they will or won't allow the photographer to use a flash during the ceremony) and music. I think Brandon might be a little worried about that. We want to use a lot of secular, albeit not inappropriate, music. That has to be approved. Because they keep mentioning the seriousness of marriage and the solemn nature of the ceremony, I don't know how they would feel about using a few tracks from the Lord of the Rings films, or a Star Wars song for the recessional, or a love song from Moulin Rouge, a film about a prostitute (but it's such a beautiful movie!). Hmm.

And then there are the lists. We are each to provide a list of eight reasons why this is the season of our lives to get married, and ten reasons why we want to marry the other person. The ten reasons are easy. It's the eight that are bothering me. I can think of three, maybe. If I would just get off the computer long enough to sit down and really think, I could probably come up with some more, but I don't see that happening today. I am sleepy, and want to play Sims. I am trying to fulfill one of my Sims' want of having twenty grandchildren.

I am a very goal-oriented person.



There's a wedding in Lord of the Rings! So...it's good, right? Right. Maybe.

Difficulties

I have a prayer request. But before I get to the request, I must give you some background information.

I am about to start my junior year of college, and Brandon is about to start his senior year. This gives him eight months between his graduation and our planned wedding date to get a "real" job (i.e. a job in his chosen career, rather than working at Autozone. Not that there's anything wrong with that- it's just that it's temporary). He is planning on being an actuary. There aren't a lot of these jobs available, because it's kind of a specialized math-y kind of field, I guess you could say. There are five tests that one must take to be a senior actuary kind of person, and it could take you twenty or thirty years to achieve this. Most companies are willing to pay for you to take these tests, because it benefits them (each of the tests costs more than $100 to take).
Brandon has not taken any of these tests. This is understandable as he is a full-time student, and works part time elsewhere. Most people, when they first start out as an actuary, have not taken any of the tests. But they have had an internship or two. Brandon has not had any. This past spring we filled out some stuff online for a company, and they contacted him but said they didn't have any work then. To me, it sounded a little like the "don't call us we'll call you" brushoff.

Today I was having a "discussion" with Brandon about this whole career thing. I will admit that I got a little emotional but I wasn't mean (yay me). I expressed my concern that he will not be able to get into this kind of job in time for us to have the money for somewhere to live, etc., when we get married. It has become a fear of mine that he will still be at Autozone when we get married, and will become stuck in a rut and not get an actuarial job for years, if ever. I got off the phone with him and prayed. I prayed that God would look out for us as we get married, that He would provide for us then and now. I told God about my worries that Brandon wouldn't be able to find a job anytime soon.

This afternoon, about three or four hours after this conversation with God, Brandon called me from work and said that the company that he had talked to months ago had just called him. I felt my spirits lift, thinking surely this couldn't be true. He went on to say that they had a job opening and they were offering it to him. This fall. He sounded so excited that I went ahead and got excited too. Then he said "But I told them no because of my schedule this fall."
I can't recall a time where I have felt such an emotional high and an emotional low in such a short span of time. I started to cry (I'm a crier. Sorry.) I felt really let down by a lot of people. Brandon, for not taking any of the tests and not looking for internships sooner (not his fault, but hey, I was upset). The company for not calling him until it was way too late to do anything about his school schedule this fall. And I was really, really upset with God. I think I still might be, a little bit. It's like, if you told a kid that you got him a pony for Christmas, after he had talked about it for months. And as soon as you saw his face light up, you said "but then I had to take it back. So no Christmas for you." It hurt my feelings.

So I guess this is a multi-level prayer request. Please pray for Brandon, and this job situation, as I feel sometimes like our entire future is riding on this one little thing, right now, this minute. And please pray for me, that I will not only have the patience and emotional fortitude to last till next semester, when the next possible opportunity might arise, but that I will also have the right attitude about all this and have an easier time relying on God in this matter. It's tough. Really tough. Especially for a natural-born worrier (that would be me).

Well...hmm.

I was browsing the "Internets" this morning and came across a story that I found interesting, saddening, and infuriating, all at the same time.
Apparently a judge has accepted a suit from a self-proclaimed gay man, representing himself, suing Zondervan and Thomas Nelson publishers for twenty years of "misrepresenting" the Bible by claiming that homosexuality is a sin. He is emotionally distressed by these two publishers (I'm not sure why he's not bothering to sue anyone who's EVER made a Bible, because it's not like these two made it up) to the tune of $70 million.

Oh, my.

Not only is this man trying to take away the rights of free speech and press, he's doing so in a most ludicrous manner. I am offended by a lot of books. I don't go around suing them for having their own opinion. And like I said, it's not like these publishers came up with these ideas themselves.

We live in troubled times. And it makes me angry. Right before I have to go to work.

Reading challenge

My mom sent me a link a little while back regarding a reading challenge. It's a pretty cool idea. I'm supposed to pick five titles from a list of books mentioned, referenced, or shown on the TV show LOST. Which is amazing. And I'm supposed to have them read by December 31st. Wish me luck!

Here are my choices:

• The Stand by Stephen King. This book isn't mentioned directly in the series, but Stephen King is, and it apparently has greatly influenced the producers regarding the show.
  
• Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens. Desmond (!) claims that this will be the last book he will read before he dies in the episode Live Together, Die Alone.
  
• Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. Despite having directed the Alice in Wonderland play my senior year (applause), I have never actually read these books. The Looking Glass is the name of the Dharma station where Charlie dies, and this is also the title of the season three finale.
  
• Carrie by Stephen King. The Others read this at their book club meeting.
  
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. This is one of the many books that Sawyer manages to find and read on the not-so-deserted island.
  

Back home

Sorry it's taken so long to write since we got back in town, but I've barely had time to breathe. Well, that's not entirely true. I've had time to go see Brandon, and work all day Saturday (ugh). I guess it would be more correct to say that I lacked the patience to sit here and write out what I had intended to say about our trip. So...here's a rundown of what we did.

Thursday- We left not so early in the morning and started driving. Had greasy fast food for lunch and found our condo, which is buried deep in the woods of Nowhere, Georgia. There are real houses with real people living their lives on the timeshare property, as well, which was new. And also the condo was actually a free-standing little house, up on what can best be described as concrete stilts. I had to sleep on the fold-out couch (*grumble*) because the loft that I was actually supposed to sleep in creeped me out. Heights. They bother me.

Friday- Went to the botanical gardens, got my shoes dirty and acquired the scent of dirt and plants on my clothes. Nearly had a heart attack trying to find the entrance to where we were supposed to work in some big arena. Sat around, bagged LifeWay merchandise very quickly for my mom and my aunt, and saw Priscilla Shirer speak. She was really cool. I would like to see her again, and I've reserved some of her books from the library. She was very funny and entertaining and had some powerful stuff to say.

Saturday- Got up very very early, went to the place where we worked, ate some breakfast and worked some more. Saw Kay Arthur speak (I didn't like her as much as Priscilla but I did appreciate the fact that her message included stories about how the media lies to us, a reference to Mike Huckabee, and stress of the genocide in our country that is abortion.) Mom ended up getting sick and then we went back to my aunt Krista's house where I got to take a nap (yay!) and had Chick-Fil-A for dinner (double yay!)

Sunday- Slept in a little, headed off on another little road trip with mom, dad, brother, aunt, and cousin in the minivan. Don't remember where all we ate on that trip. I think that was the night we had Johnny Rockets, which was not as good as I remember (but they made me a Diet Cherry Coke and I appreciate that). And it rained. And rained some more.

Monday- Had the wonderful opportunity to go to Orlando for some hours. What's in Orlando? Disney magic. We had lunch at the Earl of Sandwich at Downtown Disney (I had the "ultimate grilled cheese", which had brie, bleu cheese, swiss, bacon, and tomato. And it was good). I found some presents for my friends and for myself (some pins! Peter Pevensie and Prince Caspian!). We also visited the Virgin Megastore, where I found an awesome Hello Kitty bag, and then the Millennial Mall, which is the most expensive looking mall I have ever laid eyes on. There was a Sanrio store and I found a pretty necklace and bracelet- and a stapler. Hey, I needed one, and it's pink and cute. Whatever.

Tuesday- I think there was some beach visiting this day, and this might have been when we went to Aunt Catfish's restaurant. It was busy, and crowded, but the crab cakes were good and the buzzer to let you know when your table was ready was shaped like a lobster. Bonus points. I'm not sure what got into mom but she ordered an appetizer plate that had both shark and alligator on it. I tried them both. Shark was ok. Alligator not so much. I think I'd prefer not to have either of them again. There's a reason why we keep them in aquariums and zoos. Because they are not super yummy. This might have been the day that I picked up a starfish on the beach. I thought it was dead. I was wrong. Who picks up a dead starfish, anyway? I guess I was surprised. We never see anything other than a clam or two on our visits to the beach.

Wednesday- Started to head back home (or at least to my aunt's house to spend the night). While driving on the highway alongside the ocean, we saw a small pod of dolphins. Actually since they were kind of far off, they were more like happy black lumps with dorsal fins playing in the water. But since I know they weren't people, and I'm pretty sure sharks aren't that happy, I figure they must have been dolphins. We made a few stops at some historical sites, like a few forts and lighthouses. Also I broke a bottle of pecan syrup in a dirty, open-air souvenir and produce store on the side of the road. And I had to pay for it. Just so you know.

Thursday- Came back home! Very exciting.

I am still tired from all that spending time in the van, and the few minutes we actually spent at the beach. I wasn't sleeping before vacation. I didn't sleep during vacation. And now I'm not sleeping. Again. Oh well. At least I got this finished.

Here's a link to my pictures on facebook if you're interested!