A Certain Joe and the Nancies

It's Derby Day!
If my birthday wasn't in a week, this wouldn't mean much to me. I don't particularly care for horse racing because I'm not big on either gambling or animal abuse. I don't wear hats. And I don't drink so mint juleps are out...instead I'm having chicken nuggets and quite possibly lemon pie at my grandmother's house. This is what makes me happy.
I think the only thing I like about living in Louisville at Derby time is that all sorts of celebrities come to town. Granted, I have never met any of them. I probably never will. But it's still exciting knowing they're here. Just for fun, here are some of the big(-ish) names that are in town this weekend:

Nigel Barker, of America's Next Top Model


Jerry O'Connell, who probably still doesn't remember the secret knock:


Hugh Hefner and the Girls Next Door (um, yay?)


Edward Norton, star of pretty much my favorite movie that isn't fantasy or a musical (FIGHT CLUB!):


Papa Bear himself, Bill O'Reilly:


And his arch-nemesis, Democratic Presidential Nominee Hillary Clinton (who I'm just betting will be wearing a pantsuit):


If I were having a Derby party, none of these people would be invited. Sorry, Edward.
Who would you invite?