blech.

I have to leave for work in approximately eight minutes.
This is kind of stressful. You see, over the last week and a half or so (maybe longer than that) I have been having some issues. It started with an upset stomach. Well, tummy issues are what triggers my panic attacks. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but apparently all the medicine I have been taking lately for other things has thrown my system out of whack and now, for whatever reason, I am especially prone to anxiety. For a week straight I had at least one panic attack per day. Not good. Last Tuesday I had to leave Bible study early because I was feeling sick and freaking out. Thursday I did ok, until right before I left for work. I got all worked up in the car on the way over, then as soon as I walked in had a massive panic attack and stayed in the staff bathroom for almost half an hour. Then I went home. Friday I couldn't leave the house. It's been ugly.
So then came Saturday, and I had to work all day long. I did ok. Actually mom says I did really well. There were a few rough patches when I had to be up at the desk by myself, but I got through it. Sunday morning went just lovely, then Sunday afternoon, I let my nerves get the best of me and left Brandon's in a tizzy. So now I'm afraid of what's going to happen at work tonight. And although I've been feeling perfectly normal all day today, about ten minutes ago my stomach started to get upset and my breathing is getting a little shallow. I am doing my best to stay calm. I would really appreciate your prayers, though. I can't keep living like this. The medicine I am taking is doing wonders for me in some areas but the anxiety is just bad. I hate it. I hate feeling like this and I hate the way I act when I have panic attacks. It's embarassing. But anyway. I need all the prayer I can get.
Now I just have two minutes before I have to leave. I have a thermos full of crushed ice (90% of my diet the past week) and some Bible verses on an index card in my pocket. Please, let tonight go well. Also tomorrow, as it's Bible study, and I know that at least at first I'm going to have a rough time there, because of what happened last week.