I really hate allergies. I'm sure I will say this many more times over the summer.

While I do hate allergies, and the fact that it feels like my eyeballs are on fire, and I have used up like, two boxes of Kleenexes over the past week, I am really here to talk about church.
Church last night was amazing. And I'm very glad that Kelli skipped her softball game so she could go to the service. There were so many people there! And honestly, I don't think I have ever felt such excitement in the atmosphere of that sanctuary. There was a warm happiness floating around that can only be attributed to the Holy Spirit. Kyle's message was really good, and he talked about different people you might see in Heaven. What do you think Heaven will be like? For me, I think Heaven will be very green. Green seems to be God's favorite color. He made pretty much everything green. Trees, grass, plants...if we didn't have roads cutting through everywhere you might notice it more, I think.
I think it'd be neat if Heaven was kind of like that room in Star Trek...whatsitcalled... you could experience different stuff from history rather than watching it on some projector screen. Want to see Moses part the Red Sea? No problem. Want to see what it was like to actually be there? Even better. And maybe you could even experience like, epic scenes from movies. Like the Flight to the Ford from the Lord of the Rings, or something. I don't know. Maybe that's just me.
I like to think that God wouldn't have a problem with us seeking out and spending time with other people that we might not have necessarily known in this life. Like C. S. Lewis, or Tolkien, or that Bonhoeffer guy that we kept having to watch that movie about in high school. Or what about George Washington, or Ronald Reagan? That'd be cool. Let's all get together and play checkers, or something.
What do you think Heaven will be like? Who are you looking forward to seeing? Besides Jesus, of course. I mean, I know He's number one on the list...

Breakfast.

My bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch had one raisin in it this morning. One. That is all.

Who wants a bowl of just "Bran Crunch"? Ew.

Fernald is ridiculously excited to get a new, clean, fishbowl...

...happier than I would have thought a fish could be.

So I went to see Prince Caspian *again* last night, with my Kelli, and it was even better the second time. But because I knew what was going to happen and wasn't spending my time worrying about what cute fuzzy minotaurs were going to die, etc., I was able to both watch the movie and think about the spiritual aspect of it. I want to issue a thank you to both the late C. S. Lewis and the filmmakers for creating such an action-packed, attention grabbing witness tool of a film. Then again, I wonder if it's so simple for me to pick up on the God factor of the movie because I'm a Christian. I pray that others can, too. Perez Hilton, celebrity gossip blogger, is not a Christian, but I know that he went to see the movie and he really liked it. I wonder if he, and others like him, see that the film just isn't some fantasy story about battles and mythical creatures. I wonder if they see that Aslan represents Christ, and that the movie shows us that we shouldn't let others keep us from seeking God, and when we need help, we should ask Him first. We shouldn't wait to see what we can do without Him. We shouldn't rely on our resources, because we aren't God. Or Aslan. We are just human. We can only do so much. We should trust that He is really there even when we can't see him.
I love that movie. I want to go see it again. And again. And again. If you haven't seen it yet, go now! Call out sick from work, if you have to!

I am well aware that my timestamps are inaccurate 90% of the time.

After stumbling upon a familiar-sounding livejournal username, realizing it was actually the online journal I kept during my sophomore and junior years of high school, and reading each interesting, funny, but often sad entry, I have finally come to terms with the fact that from February to June 2005 I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Wow. I hadn't even thought about it all that much lately (emphasis on the word lately...it's only in the past few months that it wasn't lingering on the fuzzy edges of my consciousness)...but after reading what I had to say at the time, and remembering exactly the way things happened as opposed to the somewhat rosy, misleading memories I was selectively remembering, I have come to terms with it and I find myself with a peace that I thought I had already possessed. Guess what? I was wrong. Now, though...I feel a sense of relief I didn't know that I was missing. How odd. And unexpected. And how very, very welcome.

the things you think of when wasting time

You know what's weird?

For 7+ years, people have included ginormous ears on caricatures of the president.

If you draw big ears on a caricature of Barack Obama, though, it's racist.

A few things a little late.

1.

Iron Man was a fantastic movie. Go see it now. I was concerned at first because I haven't had much luck with superhero movies lately (I was disappointed by Batman Begins, and the second Fantastic Four movie was just plain horrible). Also I have never been particularly fond of Robert Downey Jr. However, he and this movie are both amazing. I thought it might get preachy because there was some hinting of an antiwar message (who knew?) but it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. It was very good. Three thumbs up, if I had three thumbs.

2.


This was really good as well. I'm happy I went to see it in the theater because I didn't do that with the first one...actually to be honest I've never been as interested in the Chronicles of Narnia as I have the Lord of the Rings. But I really liked this movie. It was kind of slow and confusing for the first 40 minutes though, so beware. I was reminded of the 5th Harry Potter film, actually. In that movie, the filmmakers were so focused on making a colorful representation of scenes in the book that they completely forgot the plot. If you had never read the book, you would think it was a terrible movie because everything was so disjointed and it didn't make any sense. This is the way it was with Prince Caspian in the beginning, I think. But the action scenes were great, Ben Barnes is really cute, and once again, the spiritual aspect of the story was represented very nicely. I know that Christians in the audience got it, and I hope that other people will, too. It's neat that something so widely publicized and backed by a company as big as Disney has these sneaky little messages used to evangelize (not sneaky in the bad sense!).

3. Last week was mine and Brandon's two-year anniversary. Yay us. I remembered that day at work but forgot to say anything! ^_^

Chuck Norris Approved

Why didn't anybody tell me Mike Huckabee was going to be in town today?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Apparently he made a bad joke about Barack Obama having a gun pointed at him. It was in bad taste but it also didn't make much sense...I don't think he was really suggesting what some people say he was.

Still. I wish I could have gone and seen him. Oh, how I want to go downtown and see if I can find out where he's staying. And get him to sign my "Character Makes a Difference" book. And my "Mike Huckabee is my homeboy" shirt. And give me a hug. And maybe he would say "I think you're cool, too, Jessi".
Ha!

"I hate everything you have become." -Facebook status

Have you ever been so incredibly frustrated with someone or something that it made your chest hurt? You feel the physical manifestation of your annoyance because you know they are wrong, or misguided, or lying, and you can't really do anything about other than open up your mouth, but you don't really want to do that because a.) you don't particularly like confrontation, and b.) you are trying to be representative of Christ. I don't think Jesus would post multiple comments on a former friend's online journal because that former friend had picked up a large amount of disdain for religion and religious people over the last year, and while they pretend to be "open-minded" and "tolerant" they make up lies about a person or persons they have never met nor obviously ever even bothered to learn about, disparaging them for being religious and basically poisoning the world by raising many children in a religious household. Jesus probably wouldn't have used his scathing wit to chastise someone in front of their friends for being a liar and reflecting their opposition of Christianity onto a sweet family of 20 out in Arkansas who never did anything as sneaky or vile as this person says they did.
Yeah. Jesus probably wouldn't do that.
But I'm not Jesus.
And I might have done that.
And my chest hurts.

almost bedtime

This is the lolcat translation of the first chapter of the book of Ruth, my favorite book of the Bible. Well, the Old Testament, anyway. I shall share more with you at a later time. By the way, this came from lolcatbible.com.
If you have visited the hilarious lolcat site, you will understand this. If not, you should go there because it will make you smile.

Ruth 1

1 In teh dayz of judges, therez no cheezbrgrz. Dood from Bethlehem (dat in Judah) is has wife 'n too boi kittehs and leave for Moab.2 Man is Elimelech. Wife iz Naomi. Boi kittehs names don't matter, they dies soon anways lolz. They livez in Moab now.

3 Elimelech dies, Naomi is widowe. Still gots two boi kittehs.4 Boi kittehs has gots wives now, Orpah n' Ruth. Family livs in Moab for tene yers and5 Boi kittehs dies lolz. Naomi now widowe with no kittehs.

6 She hears that Ceiling Cat help his pepples by givin thems cakes n' pies n' cheezebrgrs kthx. Naomi is gets grrl kittehs n' goes bak to Israel.7 Thems all leave home on the roadz to teh Judahs.

8 Naomi sez "Kthx, but yuz go home to yur momz. May teh Ceiling Cat give all of you happy 'n stuff as yous have shown yours dead n' me.9 "May Ceiling Cat givez you will finds sleeps n' more mens 'n stuffs, kthxbye." She kised thems and all cried lolz.10 And said to herz "We gos bak wit yuz."

11 But Naomi sez "Nos! Go homez, lolz. Why yu comes? I am haves no more suns for yu to be wivezes.12 "Goes home... I too old 'n stuff for more husbands. There is no hopes for me to has sunz.13 "Even ifs, sunz be lil kittehs 'n not able to get marryed for long times lol. Bad times for me, not as bad for you since Ceiling Cat hates mes and kills all my husband n' sonz."

14 All crys. Orpah kisess Naomi 'n gos home like good doter. Ruth not leeves.

15 "Look"(Naomi keep talks)"yus sister gos home to her peeples n' gods. Go with teh flowz!"

16 Ruth sez "Nos. Where yu goes, I gos n' where yu stay, me too. Yus peeples mine 'n yus Ceiling Cat mine too kthx.17 "I dies where yu dies, n' there i is being dead. May teh Ceiling Cat killz me, deaths is all that wills separated us."18 Naomi sees Ruth. Stops meow. They goes.

19 Thems has gots to Bethlehem. Town sez "Is this teh Naomis?"

20 "I not Naomi" sez Naomi. "I is called Mara (which means icky n' bitter), becuz Ceiling Cat is mean and mak my life very bad.21 "I gos out full wit husband n' sunz 'n stuff, but now i gots none. Whi calls me Naomi (which meanses good 'n stuff)? Ceiling Cat can has afflicted mes."

22 So anyways they all gets back to Bethlehem from Moab and it wuz times to has barleys.

I've decided I need a new computer chair.

So dad called this morning and said that we should get gas now, that it's gone up again. Now, the national average is $3.76 a gallon. How high is gas here? $3.93. Do they think we're stupid or something? Why are we so much higher than the national average? I don't get it. I just calculated how much it will cost me to fill up my car. It will be $5 more than it was in March. Just two months ago. $10 more than it was at Christmas.
We do not have money trees in our backyard. My "budget" is extremely rigid. Each month I have to pay a third of one of my paychecks to my grandpa for a car payment. Then about $50 for gas each paycheck (meaning about $100 a month), and almost half a paycheck for interest on my student loanseach month. . Every three months I have a car insurance bill that costs more than I earn in two weeks. I can't afford an extra $10 for gas.
Whom do I complain to?
The only bright side is that I only have to fill up once a week when I'm driving to school, which I am finished with for the summer. Maybe by the end of August the country will have gotten its act together, gas prices will be down, we will prosper economically, people will stop losing their homes and we will be happy again.
Ha.

The sniffles are allergies, I swear.

I am trying to think of a nice way to say that I am feeling both content and let down at the same time.
Friday was my birthday party. Or it was supposed to be. I invited..twelve people, and most of those closest to me (or at least, I thought some of them were...) said they weren't coming. Some had to work, one was going to prom, one said she was planning on sleeping (...) and I guess one or two were busy getting drunk and acting like their usual misguided selves. My absolute closest friends were the only ones that said they were going to be there: Brandon, my bestie Kelli, and Ruthie, whom I've been friends with pretty much since the first day I started Whitefield.
So just to humor myself I went ahead and decorated the kitchen, which was kind of pointless since there would only be four of us. I went ahead and made most of the food that I had planned on making for the original party, since I'd already bought the ingredients anyway. Kelli got there a little after four thirty, and brought me a gigantic present, which was exciting and mysterious. Inside this enormous box was a TAPS duffel bag (yay! ^_^) filled with both inane representations of several private jokes we share as well as tokens to aid in our crusade against babykilling, a Precious Feet pin and matching necklace. Ruthie got there about six thirty and brought me a Starbucks gift card, which makes me happy as I have coffee lust. But about ten minutes after Ruthie got there Kelli said she had to leave because she didn't feel well. This threw me for quite a loop as I am used to spending my Friday evenings with her, watching The Soup and laughing like loons. Less than an hour and a half later, the movie we were watching ended, and Ruthie went home.
Quite a far cry from the party I was envisioning for weeks before all this happened. Though like I said, I was very happy that the most important people were there, I was still a little sad. And then I got very sad because of other generally happy things that happened earlier that day that were flawed. Like I spent a sizable chunk of my tax refund at the spa that morning trying to make myself feel good, I messed up one of my nails from my manicure and the girl who does my hair apparently didn't listen to the fact that I said I just wanted my roots dyed as I was very happy with the reddish brown color it was, as she decided to change the color completely. Now I am back to dark brown, almost black hair. Not only do I not want almost black hair anymore, she didn't even get all of the blond that had grown in in the two months since I was there last time. Very disappointing, considering I could have done it myself at home and gotten the same dissatisfying results for about seven dollars.
Mom and Dad went ahead and gave me my presents to help cheer me up, so I guess I am pretending that my birthday is May 9th rather than May 11th. Because it's all basically over now. Oh well. Maybe I will try not to have such high expectations next year. Remind me not to bother trying to get back in touch with my friends, though, since they won't come over anyway.

curse you, ohio valley allergens...

I found out my grades for this semester.:
History: A-
American Pop Culture: B+
Ethics: B+
Modern Political Thought: C+ (it would have been considerably worse if my professor wasn't such a kind, generous soul who provided ample opportunities for extra credit)

That gives me a 3.08 for the semester. Meaning I keep my scholarship another day! Yay!

Next semester's going to be tough...let's try not to think about that now, though.

boo

I know I am being a baby for feeling sad and whiny that less than 20% of the people I invited to my birthday party aren't coming because they have prom, or they have to work, or they are "tired" (...).
I might be unrealistic for thinking that my "friends" know better than to do some of the things they've been doing, forcing me to take drastic measures and effectively end our friendship(s).
I should probably stop complaining about all of this.

Despite acknowledging all of these things...I still feel really sad.
Happy (almost) birthday to me...*sniff*.

A Certain Joe and the Nancies

It's Derby Day!
If my birthday wasn't in a week, this wouldn't mean much to me. I don't particularly care for horse racing because I'm not big on either gambling or animal abuse. I don't wear hats. And I don't drink so mint juleps are out...instead I'm having chicken nuggets and quite possibly lemon pie at my grandmother's house. This is what makes me happy.
I think the only thing I like about living in Louisville at Derby time is that all sorts of celebrities come to town. Granted, I have never met any of them. I probably never will. But it's still exciting knowing they're here. Just for fun, here are some of the big(-ish) names that are in town this weekend:

Nigel Barker, of America's Next Top Model


Jerry O'Connell, who probably still doesn't remember the secret knock:


Hugh Hefner and the Girls Next Door (um, yay?)


Edward Norton, star of pretty much my favorite movie that isn't fantasy or a musical (FIGHT CLUB!):


Papa Bear himself, Bill O'Reilly:


And his arch-nemesis, Democratic Presidential Nominee Hillary Clinton (who I'm just betting will be wearing a pantsuit):


If I were having a Derby party, none of these people would be invited. Sorry, Edward.
Who would you invite?