I'd like to thank the Academy... have I used that before?

My mom was kind enough to give me a blog award.


Of course she loves my blog. She's my mom. She has to. So apparently I also have to fill out a survey thingie with one word answers. Here we go.


where is your cell phone? there
where is your significant other? driving
your hair color? artificial
your mother? sick
your father? working
your favorite thing? humor
your dream/goal? Heaven
The room you're in? mine
your hobby? worrying
your fear? bees
where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
where were you last night? work
what you're not? Eskimo
one of your wish list items? house
the last thing you did? microwaved
what are you wearing? "slacks"
your tv? (my tv what?) on
your pet? Fernald
your computer? works
your mood? tolerable
missing someone? Possibly
your car? Sporty
something you're not wearing but love to wear? earrings
favorite store? ...pass.
your summer? short
love someone? chyeah
your favorite color? purple.
when is the last time you laughed? earlier
last time you cried? yesterday


And now I am supposed to forward this to seven people whose blog I love. Hmm. Do I know seven people? Well, I love Kelli's blog even though she has never written anything on it, but I love her anyway. I love reading Rachel's blog because I am still amazed that she is a mommy now, and Averi is so cute! I also read Amy's blog, Mrs. Scott's blog (who will hopefully be adopting a little boy from Ethiopia very soon!), Briana's blog, Crosswalk, and...um...that might be it! Well, I do read other blogs but they aren't written by real people. They are pictures and things. So yeah.

Hope you're having a happy Tuesday. I'd give mine a B+. It's been all right, but nothing to really tell people about.

I hit my thumb with a book and it still hurts.

Hi, people.
It has been a stressful week, and I'm sorry I am not posting anything but recounts of my stress on here lately. Thankfully my dear Kelli provided me with all the episodes of the Office so I have something entertaining to lift my spirits, and my dear Brandon has been here for me and is helping me out with my tuition woes (I don't know what I'd do without him!). Friday might have been the worse. I went to take my withdraw slips to a professor (I'm dropping my two toughest classes, so I'm still full-time, but there's no need in taking them and giving myself a stress-related stroke trying to make a good grade in the class) and instead of simply signing them or asking me to email him or whatever, he made me go to the front of the class and very loudly, rudely, and unprofessionally picked at me and my reasons for dropping the class. I was kind enough not to tell him that part of the reason was because he was so rude and let his students say really nasty, intolerant things in class. He basically said that I was crazy for making a "rash decision", and badgered me until I told him where I was *thinking* about going, and he hadn't heard of it so obviously, it's not a real school. His comments weren't made with a tone of concern for my future, but with disdain. It really hurt my feelings and was especially painful because I had been dreading going to him in the first place (I hate confrontation. Or the possibility of confrontation.)
Thankfully things went pretty well at work today. I probably would have just broken down crying if they hadn't, because, well, it's been that kind of week. Blech. I am keeping my hopes up for next week, though.

On a mostly unrelated note, it's almost October! Yay! I like October because autumn is my favorite season. It starts getting cold, there's Halloween candy, and when October is over it's November, which means Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping and Christmas is very soon. Yay! I am kind of sad that I won't be able to get people as much for Christmas this year (life suddenly got more expensive this summer. I'm not sure why). I LOVE getting presents for people. And wrapping them. I am the wrapping queen. I am really weird, I know. I am excited, though. Hopefully October will be a very fun month.

Brief briefing.

While I was up last night being all befuddled and depressed and stuff, I turned on the telly and who did I see visiting the set of the Daily Show? None other than my favorite former PM, Tony Blair.
And he was wearing a magenta tie.
All was right in the world for the few moments he was on the screen. I like him. He makes me smile.

Food is weird.

I am highly suspicious of this peanut butter and cherry preserves sandwich I have just stopped eating. It smells kind of like the bread is about to go bad. I am hypersensitive to things like this. I will not drink milk the day before its sell-by date. Not "use by", "sell by". I won't eat bread that smells at all fruity because that means it's about to go bad. And yes, I am aware that this particular sandwich contains fruit. There is a difference.
And it's kind of a bummer because that's pretty much all I brought for dinner. All we have hear is candy. Candy does not a dinner make. And also it makes my teeth hurt.

So now I have nothing to do during my dinner break other than ponder and worry and other such things. I mentioned before that I am looking into switching schools. This is because I don't like going to school in such a secular environment, I do not want to be a historian, and Bellarmine is insanely expensive. I miss going to a small, Christ-centered (hmm) school. That's what Whitefield was supposed to be, anyway. So I have actually been looking at other options since April or May but didn't fully disclose to family how fed up I am until recently. Now I am looking into switching to Boyce, which is run by the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I am no longer really considered "Southern Baptist" but I agree with the doctrine and that's what I was raised in, even though I now belong to a nondenominational church. Anyway. I could theoretically switch to Boyce and get an associate's degree in a year, with a few summer classes thrown in, and then after that work towards my Bachelor's in "Christian Worldview and Apologetics". Which sounds interesting and useful, and if I did change my mind and decide to teach (again- this time instructing high schoolers how to fortify themselves with their faith so that they may resist so many of the nasty things world outside of high school has to offer), I could use that. If I went full time, I could get THAT degree two years after I get my associates (not counting summer terms, should I take them). I just don't know. I am very confused right now.

Here's what I know:
*I want a degree
*I like Jesus
*I don't see Him at Bellarmine
*I don't have any desire to be a historian, researcher, author, professor, etc.
*I don't have a lot of money
*I think that this particular degree at Boyce would be very useful, and it's something I'm interested in.
*I want to do something my family and Brandon approve of
*Jesus, too. I want Him to approve, I mean.
*I'm not super thrilled with the idea of going ot school for a few extra years, part-time or full-time, and for some reason I get the feeling people would be mad at me if I had to keep going past my once-anticipated graduation date.

Here's what I don't know:
*Anything else.


The more I think about it, that sandwich bread has totally gone bad. Ew. I can still taste it. Blech.

I have twenty minutes left before I have to work again. I have nasty bread taste in my mouth. And I am very confused as to the direction I am headed.
Also it's warm in here. There, I think that covers everything I could possibly complain about right now. I'm going to go see if I have a caramel apple sucker in my purse and try to stop thinking about that sandwich.

Oh what love

I have felt called to pray for someone I know a lot over the past few days. I care about this person a lot even though we don't see each other very often anymore. So many people I knew from high school have worked very hard to ignore God and what He wants for their lives. In some of them I still see some hope, I pray that their hearts will ache to know Christ- again. We so often took for granted being constantly exposed to "Jesus stuff" in high school (and often at home as well) and many of my classmates aren't getting along so well without it now. I think I sound like a sixty year old preacher when I say this, but they are being destroyed by the evil that permeates parts of the secular world. Particularly college. It's a generational thing, really. Not just Whitefield students. I am really praying that God will use me to show this person what they've been missing, what a hope their is in having a relationship with Jesus. That no matter what they are going through with their family or what pressures they are facing He is always there, and people like me will be too. All this person has to do is ask for help. So I posted some lyrics on facebook in hopes that they will be seen by the right people. Person, rather. He needs to know that God is listening.

Please lift up this anonymous soul in your prayers. I'm having a difficult time expressing how heavily God has laid this on my heart. Each day I see something else that makes me more worried for this individual.

Fun times in the Ville.

Well, that was interesting.
We came back from lunch on Sunday to find that the power was out in our house. So off I went to Brandon's, and I was quite happy to find that they had power there, although I had to take a detour and have him pick me up at the mall due to a downed power line. About an hour into our thoroughly exciting movie, though, their power went out, too. I got home around five, and...I don't really remember what we did the rest of the night, but listen to the radio.
Hurricane Ike came through Louisville, minus the rain (which is what we really needed). A few people died, including a ten year old boy who was out mowing the grass when a tree limb hit him. At the height of the chaos, about an eighth of all residents in Kentucky were without power. There have been more than 5,000 reported downed power lines in our city, and a few hundred cracked telephone poles. Our neighborhood sustained some pretty bad damage from fallen trees, but nothing really happened on our street, thankfully. Many grocery stores and gas stations remained closed, so things could get a lot worse. I know most of the ladies I work with are still without power (ours came on around 1030 last night!). Nine out of the sixteen libraries were completely without power yesterday, yet everyone still had to come in at work. I got to go home after about an hour and have a hot meal out at Mammaw's, but I had to take vacation time. Poo.
Anyway. Please keep our state in your prayers. They have said that it could be up to two weeks for everyone to have power, and the schools will probably be out the rest of the week. I don't know if Bellarmine was damaged but we were out yesterday and today (that I didn't mind so much. Actually I hope we're out the rest of the week, because I'm supposed to have a map quiz on Friday). Speaking of school, I am thinking about transferring to a local Christian college. But that is another story for another time. Right now I have a lot of stuff to do that I haven't been able to because of the power outage.

Remember.

Today is September 11th.
Seven years ago some bad and scary stuff happened in my country.
Planes flew into buildings
People couldn't find their family members.
People chose their own manner of death by jumping out of windows rather than waiting for the inevitable.
A lot of people died.
We came to recognize that we are surrounded by heroes, from police officers to firefighters to people giving money and shelter to doggies wearing special shoes so they could walk on rubble to look for survivors.

Seven years ago I was in the eighth grade. I was 13 years old. I remember arriving in Mrs. Burns' history class, and she told us that a plane had flown into some building in New York that no one had ever heard of. She mentioned the name "Osama bin Laden", and said that she didn't know who he was either. We prayed for the people in New York without really knowing what was going on. Our class moved to the tiny library and stood in the back of the room, as Mr. Balty's high school class was sitting up front, crowded around the one little TV. When we got there we heard Mr. Balty whispering to Mrs Burns that another tower had been hit. I remember talking with my friend Alexa at lunch, and we wondered whether our nation would be going to war. We decided that if it came down to it, we would plant victory gardens.
I remember watching a lot of TV during the next few days. They showed the footage of smoke pouring from these buildings over and over. Sometimes they'd show a jumper. The reporters on the ground encountered people covered in thick gray dust. The reporters often asked if they were looking for any family, and I remember one man describing his wife or his girlfriend, what she had been wearing, and that she had long braids in her hair. I got pretty excited because a few hours earlier another network had spoken with a dazed woman who matched his description. Except she was so covered in dust from the buildings falling that you couldn't even tell the color of her skin.
I remember seeing the civilian footage after the first hit on the World Trade Center, the camera operator wondering aloud if the hit had been accidental, and hearing people scream as the second plane flew into the other tower. I remember seeing people running from the encroaching clouds of dirt, smoke, and debris.

I remember seeing a lot of American flags, and I think the newspaper even printed one that we cut out and taped in our living room window until we could get a real one. That paper flag stayed up for a long time. It eventually got pretty faded and we took it down.

I remember adding a "terror alert" system to our country's lexicon. And I remember when we actually took that seriously. We've been orange or yellow for years now. No one pays attention to that anymore.

Come to think of it, I don't remember ever seeing the little constantly scrolling news ticker at the bottom of the screen before 9/11, either.

I remember telethons and celebrity concerts honoring people in the armed forces and others, like those firefighters and police officers. I remember people being proud of our soldiers, and being willing to tell them so out loud in public.

People have been saying "We will never forget" all day on TV today. Like it's the official slogan. I didn't hear anyone mention it at school today. I didn't see any extra American flags, or yellow ribbons, or open displays of patriotism. I might not have realized that today was The Day if I hadn't had to check the calendar for something at work today. Apparently we have forgotten. And that's really sad. I don't care if you are a Republican or Democrat. I don't care if you like the President or the war(s) going on right now. I don't care what your political opinions are, what you think of Fox News or NBC. Seven years ago people died. Someone- some people- hated us enough to take our planes and fly them into buildings, killing thousands of people for no good reason (not that there's ever a "good" reason to kill a bunch of people, mind) and that's sad. Horrible. Heart-breaking. Terrifying. So, people booing John McCain right now on television, shut up. Get over yourselves. This is an insult to the memory of some 3,000 people who died seven years ago today, who were just going to work, or dropping their kids off at daycare, or delivering a package, or flying to see loved ones. Show some respect. Count your blessings, be thankful that it wasn't you or someone you know. Honor their memory by acting like an American tonight. Not a Democrat. Not a Republican. Election coverage and public humiliation can resume tomorrow- we've got time, the election is more than a month away. Give it a break. Just for tonight.

Weekday update

It is going to be an extremely long day.

Today was the first day of working out at the gym with Kelli. It was fun and tiring and at some times awkward (certain machines stand facing the wall for a reason). I got there a little before 630 this morning. I got home around 8, took a shower, dried my hair a little, and headed off to school. There were two parking spots. I was quite happy to see the little security man in his golf cart writing freshmen and residents tickets for parking in our lot. There are too few spaces as it is, we don't need more people in the way. So then I had class this morning, and I just got done with my geography quiz. I spent so much time memorizing political boundaries (which has always been my weakness in the past) that I didn't concentrate enough on capital cities and other important places, and that will be my downfall. Hopefully my field study will be amazing and that will make up for it. There are some teachers and professors that you just hate disappointing, because they are willing to take time out of their day to help you, or provide opportunities for you to make up a poor grade. I am afraid I just disappointed my professor. And myself. Very sad.
Anyway. I got out of class early so I snagged a computer. I have two more classes to go (both socially uncomfortable and painfully boring) and then I get to leave, driving straight to work for five hours. In short, for more than thirteen hours today, the only time I have/will have had at home is to take a shower. *_* I don't know how well this is going to work out. Oh, and I get to work tomorrow morning. And will probably end up spending my break before my 6 pm class at school, so I can try to get some work done. We shall see.

there are some who call me...tim?

Good evening, friends.

I am blogging because I haven't done so in a while. Because I am in a not-so-happy mood and think writing will help alleviate that. Because I am thinking a lot of things right now and perhaps in some weird way I think that sharing them with the few random people who will read this will make me feel better.

This is not a pity party. Just...stress relief.

I pretty much work and go to school these days. On Mondays, I get up and go to school. I leave straight from school and go to work. It's a half hour drive. It's not very exciting. I listen to books on tape. When I get off work it's after nine, and I'm tired and don't feel like doing much of anything, especially not homework. This attitude will not go over very well this semester, as I have...nine papers, a video presentation, and a research proposal this semester. Not to mention fourteen textbooks, three Presidential biographies of my choice, numerous tests, quizzes, article summations, etc. Blech. It makes my head spin just thinking about it.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I get up and go to work in the morning and drive straight to school. Wheeeeee.

I get to see Brandon two times a week now. On Friday evenings and on Sundays. Saturdays are reserved for homework. This is a huge change from seeing him three or four nights a week, plus having at least an hour lunch with him every day at school. I eat lunch by myself, usually working on the crossword, in the cafe area of my school. Twenty minutes later I am bored so I walk a few buildings over and play games on my phone while I wait for class to start.

I think the last few years of wearing ballet flats and skate shoes have permanently damaged my feet. Or at least one of them. It hurts really bad, and is sometimes very difficult to walk on, and it gets on my nerves. Can I buy new feet? Assuming I stumble across some large sum of money and have enough money to afford important things such as tires, an education, and new appendages.

I am very excited about Sarah Palin. She is really nifty, and is female, and stands for a lot of the things that I believe in. Also she has five kids and her family seems really happy. I like that. And I am beginning to like John McCain a little, too.

My wisdom teeth are bothering me. When I was a junior in high school I discovered that my wisdom teeth were beginning to grow in. In math class, I requested prayer for this. I hate going to the dentist. I hate people's hands in my mouth. I hate surgery. So I asked for prayer that God would allow these new teeth to fit in my mouth so I didn't have to have them cut out. God answered that prayer in a rather slow and interesting way. These wisdom teeth have grown in one at a time over the past four years. Very slowly. And it's bearable and for that I am extremely grateful. At times, however, they feel weird, these extra teeth in the back of my mouth. I have never felt such sympathy- or is it empathy?- for teething babies. I know their pain. And I actually remember it!

Speaking of prayer requests, I miss that part of my high school. Bellarmine is not spiritually committed to anything. I have a feeling most colleges aren't. I haven't really minded it so much until recently, and I don't really know why. I miss being in a small setting where I know that everyone else has pretty much the same background as me. I didn't have to worry about English professors misrepresenting Bible studies, or other students passing judgement on the Puritans of 17th century America. We all recognized that abortion is wrong, and had nothing to fear by openly discussing this and many other topics in class. I miss telling my teachers what's going on in my life, and asking for their prayer. Sometimes I miss it so much it makes my heart hurt. The other day I found myself doodling in my psychology notebook and mentioned something about looking into tuition at a local Christian college. It's too late to switch now. It would probably be cheaper, and I would probably be happier, but it's not going to happen. Not with four semesters left. I probably wouldn't be able to transfer all my credits, and I don't want to stay in school any longer. I think about dropping out sometimes because I hate it so much. It's like, there is no point in being there other than to stress me out. If I even drop one of my classes it's going to affect the rest of my semesters at Bellarmine, and while I would have some slight relief now, I wouldn't be happy then when I had to take 18 hours of classes while preparing for my wedding.

My room is a mess. I am getting rid of three boxes of my stuff and it's still cluttered. I can't think of anything else to get rid of, actually. Someone should come box up my stuff and buy me a house and put all my stuff in it. Just leave my computer, some paper and my mattress. Better yet, buy me a new mattress, because the one I have is shot.

My doggies are asleep on my bed. Picky Polo is actually not under the covers. He is sprawled out in the middle of the bed, with his gigantic bat ears sticking up, making him look even more ridiculous than he already does.

I would like to take a trip back to Whole Foods with my Kelli, to get some random expensive groceries. That will have to wait until tires are purchased and insurance payments are made, however. Maybe we can get some fancy cheese, or something. Or scallops. Or chocolate croissants.
We decided that when it gets closer to Halloween, just for silliness we will get some stuff to make Harry Potter food! She wants butterbeer (which appears to be club soda, butterscotch syrup, and butter. I don't know about that last part). I just want something toffee. Yummy. Yay, food! It is so much fun.

Mom dyed my hair tonight and it is two different colors. I am having trouble figuring out why.

I am excited about Christmas. I have most of Brandon's presents, all of Kelli's, half of Jonathan's, and I have mom's picked out. I don't know what I'm getting dad so I hope that the Disney store adds some more stitch stuff to their website in the next month or two.

Ok, even though I don't have to go to school tomorrow until noon, meaning I can sleep in and watch the Golden Girls, I think I will try to go to bed now. I am out of things to say. At least, things that I am willing to type and/or admit.

Hope all is well with you, too.